I have therefore concluded with meself as of this particular moment, that I'm glad I'm single. hahahaha!!
My mind keeps changing man!!
See,
1. I'm not stable in my location now.
2. I like doing stuff on my own and my time.
3. No one to have to go and spend all those emotional time with...
Of course, that's not to say I never wanna have that special someone... but problem free me is kinda happy and glad. Like my mom told me, thank God for my singlehood. Coz we probably might not have that time for long. :)
Monday, July 17, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Lonely
These few days, I've been having these longings... to have that special someone..
The feelings have been coming and going for the past few years, normal i suppose.
But these few days, its so intense. It's like I am craving a relationship... I cry out to God. When Lord? When?
Every decent guy i meet, I cant help it.. but the first thoughts that pop up in my head are, "Maybe he could be the one."
It's annoyin!!! I try not to think that but it alwayssss come. Then it subsequently makes the conversation awkward for me... I just wanne get to know a FRIEND!! AHHHHHHHHHHH
The feelings have been coming and going for the past few years, normal i suppose.
But these few days, its so intense. It's like I am craving a relationship... I cry out to God. When Lord? When?
Every decent guy i meet, I cant help it.. but the first thoughts that pop up in my head are, "Maybe he could be the one."
It's annoyin!!! I try not to think that but it alwayssss come. Then it subsequently makes the conversation awkward for me... I just wanne get to know a FRIEND!! AHHHHHHHHHHH
Monday, July 10, 2006
Life Hurts
Another reminder how tough and heartbreaking life can be.
I've been playing this online game, Puzzle Pirates, for a few years now and have formed a close bond with my crew mates on it.
One of my maties was anticipating the birth of his first child. We've all been so excited with him... But last week, the baby was born prematurely at 28 weeks with a heart defect. After 3 days, the baby passed away.
the pain and anguish that both of them feel pains us, as a community. They have no hope as they do not know the Lord. Pls pray with me that they will discover the love and peace that God brings and that He will hold them as they grieve and mourn the loss of a precious baby.
My heart aches for them. Life Hurts so much. I just jolts me out of my daily routine and reminds me that life is painful and short, esp for those who do not have the everlasting hope and peace.
It is my responsibility to bring this Peace to them. I cannot wait and hold back. They need God.
I've been playing this online game, Puzzle Pirates, for a few years now and have formed a close bond with my crew mates on it.
One of my maties was anticipating the birth of his first child. We've all been so excited with him... But last week, the baby was born prematurely at 28 weeks with a heart defect. After 3 days, the baby passed away.
the pain and anguish that both of them feel pains us, as a community. They have no hope as they do not know the Lord. Pls pray with me that they will discover the love and peace that God brings and that He will hold them as they grieve and mourn the loss of a precious baby.
My heart aches for them. Life Hurts so much. I just jolts me out of my daily routine and reminds me that life is painful and short, esp for those who do not have the everlasting hope and peace.
It is my responsibility to bring this Peace to them. I cannot wait and hold back. They need God.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Pain
hm.. my back hurts, my tummy hurts. everything hurts...
Why is it only when I am on holiday that my body starts creaking and complaining...
Part of life I guess....
Why is it only when I am on holiday that my body starts creaking and complaining...
Part of life I guess....
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Alone
Have you been truly alone? Not only physically, but spiritually and emotionally? Have you felt the deep despairing feeling of total abandonment by everyone, even those who profess to love you?
Thank God I haven't... but Jesus Christ did. I'm reading "The Path of His Passion" by Bill Crowder and for the first time, the weight and true scale of what Jesus had to suffer for me has hit me. It's not just his time on the cross... its before that too.
In the Garden where He prayed, everyone was abandoning Him. This sentence in the book explains it best:
"His family had turned from Him (Mark 3.21), the crowds had walked away (John 6:66), the Twelve had become Eleven, the Eleven were reduced to Three -- and they were asleep."
Asleep? On the final hours of Christ's life on Earth, they chose to SLEEP? As much as I would like to point fingers, I can't. Because u know what, I probably would have done the exact same thing. How foolish, undependable and hurtful can we be?
When Christ died, He was alone... His disciples had fled and denied Him. His Father in Heaven had turned from Him... how painful the agony He had to go through.
This hymn is quoted in the book:
"It was alone the Savior prayed
In dark Gethsemane;
Alone He drained the bitter cup
And suffered there for me.
Alone, alone, He bore it all alone;
He gave Himself to save His own,
He suffered, bled and died alone, alone."
Thank God I haven't... but Jesus Christ did. I'm reading "The Path of His Passion" by Bill Crowder and for the first time, the weight and true scale of what Jesus had to suffer for me has hit me. It's not just his time on the cross... its before that too.
In the Garden where He prayed, everyone was abandoning Him. This sentence in the book explains it best:
"His family had turned from Him (Mark 3.21), the crowds had walked away (John 6:66), the Twelve had become Eleven, the Eleven were reduced to Three -- and they were asleep."
Asleep? On the final hours of Christ's life on Earth, they chose to SLEEP? As much as I would like to point fingers, I can't. Because u know what, I probably would have done the exact same thing. How foolish, undependable and hurtful can we be?
When Christ died, He was alone... His disciples had fled and denied Him. His Father in Heaven had turned from Him... how painful the agony He had to go through.
This hymn is quoted in the book:
"It was alone the Savior prayed
In dark Gethsemane;
Alone He drained the bitter cup
And suffered there for me.
Alone, alone, He bore it all alone;
He gave Himself to save His own,
He suffered, bled and died alone, alone."
Friday, June 09, 2006
Weak
How Weak I am!
How easy it is for me to fall back into sin!
How vunerable and helpless I am!
Oh Lord, help me keep faithful in you
Help me search for your Will everyday of my life
Help me not get lazy
Help me keep to the hard road that you have set before me
I need you O Lord!
I am nothing wth you!
I am so evil and so deprived!
Please keep me close to you!
Please help me fulfill my promises!
Please never stop loving me and giving up on me!!
How easy it is for me to fall back into sin!
How vunerable and helpless I am!
Oh Lord, help me keep faithful in you
Help me search for your Will everyday of my life
Help me not get lazy
Help me keep to the hard road that you have set before me
I need you O Lord!
I am nothing wth you!
I am so evil and so deprived!
Please keep me close to you!
Please help me fulfill my promises!
Please never stop loving me and giving up on me!!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
My Cry
O LORD, You have searched me and known me,
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowlege is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost partd of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall leade me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139. Verses 1 - 6, 7 - 10, 13 - 15 & 23 -24
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowlege is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost partd of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall leade me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139. Verses 1 - 6, 7 - 10, 13 - 15 & 23 -24
Prayers Needed
Dear friends,
At this time, I would like to ask for your prayers for my brother, Joel. My brother is going through a very tough time now and needs as much support from the saints as possible. The Lord is breaking him down and it is very painful and hurting for him. What's more, he's in Australia now and is away from me and my family.
If you could fit him into your long list of people to pray for, please pray that God will carry and hold him and that my brother will lean on God for support for the pain.
Thank you in advance. Although you may not know my brother, I believe that with many saints lifting him up in prayer, he will be surrounded by the support of his spiritual family.
Thanks.
Debby Li
Friday, May 05, 2006
Adult World
So, exams are finally over for this semester and just when it gets exciting.... I start May classes on Monday. No rest for the wicked I guess. hehehe.
Well, some interesting stuff have happened to me lately. I won't go into it BUT I can say that its part of me growing up. As my mom said, "Welcome to the Adult World!" ... ... ... I'm not liking the Adult World too much right now! I wanna stay a teenage forever!!!! ok ok.... there are some nice things about adult world... but so far, the cons outweigh the pros.
Oh well, this is my complaint. Bye bye teenage world. Hello Big people world!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Time for Goodbyes
It is a sad time. Some good friends I've made are graduating and moving on with their lives. Time with my apartment mates are coming to an end. I'm going to miss most people a lot.
I really thank God especially for my wonderful roommate, Jessica. She's the 2nd one from the left. She is such an AMAZING roommate. She is easy going and supportive. She doesn't mind my messes (and believe me, I can get very messy), she allows me to rant and rave when I'm frustrated and mad, we talk and laugh a lot before we fall asleep and I just feel so comfortable around her. I know that she doesn't judge me and is willing to listen. It is truly the Lord's gift to give such an amazing person to me, especially on my first year here. He knew who I needed and He gave her to me. God is so loving and thoughtful. I probably would not have eased into here as well if I didn't have Jess!
I am sad because next semester, she'll be in Chicago doing an off-campus semester. Then when she comes back, I'll be in Philadelphia. We probably won't spend much time together again just because of the different circles we hang out in. I am sadden that I won't have her as a roommate anymore. :(
But oh well, people have to leave eventually. I'm just so grateful that I had her for a year!!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Equally Yoked
I'm learning more and more why God wants us to marry and give ourselves to someone who has the same beliefs and mission in life as us.
Seeing people around me argue with their boyfriends over alcohol and gambling, and the amount of time and energy wasted on this, is really an eye opener.
When God commanded us to bond that closely with another who loves Him deeply, He just wants to save us the pain and heart ache caused when we bond with someone who does not want to serve Him. Alcohol and gambling are just some ways that it shows where are priorities lie.
Yes, simple quarks of each other can and will probably have to be worked out. But if a couple is together because they both love the Lord deeply and the relationship is rooted in obedience and service to God, then arguments like those will probably never blow up to the depth and I am seeing that happen around me.
I pray that God will show and guide me so that I may choose wisely.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
REFLECTION: Spiritual Warfare... But God is Good
If you know me well, you know that I don't like to equate everything with spiritual warfare and the devil.
However, I now seriously am convinced that I am right now in spiritual warfare. Over the last few days, one bad thing has been hitting me after another. It seems like the minute I am calm about something, another thing comes up and punches me in my gut and my soul.
I have been going through a torrent of emotions, sadness, grieve, anger, frustration, disappointment and many more in just one day.
And you know what? I praise God for this. Yes, I praise God for the hard times and the punchese and kicks. I am not glad that I'm experiencing what I am experiencing now, but I still praise God for His love and grace and most of all PEACE.
Thinking on this, if these have happened to me a few years back, or even last year, I would be depressed and deeply troubled and will be in a negative frame of mind. However, I can see the Lord's hand in my life, especially over the last year. Even when I've been fighting Him all the way, He still loves me so much that He's been shaping and molding me into someone who trust in His peace and His strength. I can see this through me being able to rejoice in the simple joys of the day, without letting my troubles over cloud them.
I take no credit for my calmness and ability to think with a clear mind now. It is all God. He is the one who is helping me say the right words and think the right thoughts. If you know me, you'll also know that I tend to shoot my mouth off and saying the wrong things. But amazingly, when times were tense and the right words NEEDED to be said, it came out of my mind. God put it there. It's no way me. I'm not that good and wise, I'm not even close.
My heart may be troubled by the stuff I see around me and what I'm experiencing, but its a troubleness with calm and peace. It is knowing that when I try to tackle these stuff, God is there and carrying me on His strong shoulders and lovingly holding on tightly to me. He is never going to let me go.
God is soooo amazing. He convicted my heart to seek Him. All year, I've tried to jumpstart a daily devotional time with God. I've come up with grand schemes and plots to make these work. They never do. But one night, a quiet and also negligible thought came into my mind - "Start tonight." there was no plans, no plots, no schemes. Just a whisper from God and this time, amazingly, I listened.
and you know what? In just a few weeks of starting this every night before bed, I can feel His amazing peace in my heart and soul. the sense of God that I've been craving and searching for has come because I listened to that tiny whisper. God works wonders, and I thank Him daily now, for His wonders in my life.
However, I now seriously am convinced that I am right now in spiritual warfare. Over the last few days, one bad thing has been hitting me after another. It seems like the minute I am calm about something, another thing comes up and punches me in my gut and my soul.
I have been going through a torrent of emotions, sadness, grieve, anger, frustration, disappointment and many more in just one day.
And you know what? I praise God for this. Yes, I praise God for the hard times and the punchese and kicks. I am not glad that I'm experiencing what I am experiencing now, but I still praise God for His love and grace and most of all PEACE.
Thinking on this, if these have happened to me a few years back, or even last year, I would be depressed and deeply troubled and will be in a negative frame of mind. However, I can see the Lord's hand in my life, especially over the last year. Even when I've been fighting Him all the way, He still loves me so much that He's been shaping and molding me into someone who trust in His peace and His strength. I can see this through me being able to rejoice in the simple joys of the day, without letting my troubles over cloud them.
I take no credit for my calmness and ability to think with a clear mind now. It is all God. He is the one who is helping me say the right words and think the right thoughts. If you know me, you'll also know that I tend to shoot my mouth off and saying the wrong things. But amazingly, when times were tense and the right words NEEDED to be said, it came out of my mind. God put it there. It's no way me. I'm not that good and wise, I'm not even close.
My heart may be troubled by the stuff I see around me and what I'm experiencing, but its a troubleness with calm and peace. It is knowing that when I try to tackle these stuff, God is there and carrying me on His strong shoulders and lovingly holding on tightly to me. He is never going to let me go.
God is soooo amazing. He convicted my heart to seek Him. All year, I've tried to jumpstart a daily devotional time with God. I've come up with grand schemes and plots to make these work. They never do. But one night, a quiet and also negligible thought came into my mind - "Start tonight." there was no plans, no plots, no schemes. Just a whisper from God and this time, amazingly, I listened.
and you know what? In just a few weeks of starting this every night before bed, I can feel His amazing peace in my heart and soul. the sense of God that I've been craving and searching for has come because I listened to that tiny whisper. God works wonders, and I thank Him daily now, for His wonders in my life.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Is anyone reading this?
Hm... I think I'm posting to myself now. Doesn't seem like anyone is reading this. If you are, can u pls leave a message letting me know? Thanks
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Campaigning is so fun!!!
Ok, so I got sucked into the elections campaign! I personally am so stoked!!! I'm helping with talking to my friends, emailing people, putting up posters and just promoting the two candidates for president and vice-president of student congress!!
I decided to throw my weight behind this pair because I know that they are very passionate about what they want to accomplish and Anne is always looking to make the multi-cultural and international students' voices heard!! The other pair can't care less about our voices. They just want the majority vote so they do everything for the majority and if the other students can join, great! If not, oh well, too bad.
Ok, getting too passionate about this! lol. This is so different from back home!!! EXCITING!!
I decided to throw my weight behind this pair because I know that they are very passionate about what they want to accomplish and Anne is always looking to make the multi-cultural and international students' voices heard!! The other pair can't care less about our voices. They just want the majority vote so they do everything for the majority and if the other students can join, great! If not, oh well, too bad.
Ok, getting too passionate about this! lol. This is so different from back home!!! EXCITING!!
I'm so MAD!!!!
We had to watch a movie for my communications class called "Mississippi Burning". It was about racism in the 1960s in the state.
When I was watching it, I got so mad!!! How can people be so hateful and evil? How can they take another man's life one day and the next go to church and worship to God?!??!?!?!?!?!?! How can they justify the taking of another human's life? How can they live with themselves?!?!?!?!
I am so MADDDDDDD right now!!! The racism shown in the movie went all the way up to the court system!! And because of the corrupt judges and police officers, they can get away with it!! It is just not right!!!!!
I know it was about an incident that happened on the 60s, but its still going on today, just much more subtle!!! Instead of whites shooting blacks, we have evil people doing hateful and hurtful SUBTLE things against others!!!
I am so thankful I am from Singapore where its not based on the colour of your skin but by your skills and perseverence!!!! I'm so thankful to God for blessing me with a racism-free childhood!!!!
What I hated the most was that the evil people were claiming Christ the whole time!! BLASPHEMY!!! Christ came to bring salvation to ALL!! He didn't set the conditions that you had to be blond with blue eyes!! He loved EVERYONE!!! And further more, Jesus wasn't blond with blue eyes!!!! He was born in the Middle East!!!!!
You know, if there was no Christ, what would be the meaning of life? With all the evil in this world, why are we even trying to live? It's only through Christ and His love and strength do we have meaning to live in this hateful world!!
When I was watching it, I got so mad!!! How can people be so hateful and evil? How can they take another man's life one day and the next go to church and worship to God?!??!?!?!?!?!?! How can they justify the taking of another human's life? How can they live with themselves?!?!?!?!
I am so MADDDDDDD right now!!! The racism shown in the movie went all the way up to the court system!! And because of the corrupt judges and police officers, they can get away with it!! It is just not right!!!!!
I know it was about an incident that happened on the 60s, but its still going on today, just much more subtle!!! Instead of whites shooting blacks, we have evil people doing hateful and hurtful SUBTLE things against others!!!
I am so thankful I am from Singapore where its not based on the colour of your skin but by your skills and perseverence!!!! I'm so thankful to God for blessing me with a racism-free childhood!!!!
What I hated the most was that the evil people were claiming Christ the whole time!! BLASPHEMY!!! Christ came to bring salvation to ALL!! He didn't set the conditions that you had to be blond with blue eyes!! He loved EVERYONE!!! And further more, Jesus wasn't blond with blue eyes!!!! He was born in the Middle East!!!!!
You know, if there was no Christ, what would be the meaning of life? With all the evil in this world, why are we even trying to live? It's only through Christ and His love and strength do we have meaning to live in this hateful world!!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Politics is entertainment!!!
I've always said that Politics was dirty and brings out the worst in people.
Firstly, It makes people super competitive and that is enough to get me cringing.
Then, people start finding every opportunity to make the other look bad. (The concept of being a good sport just went out the window.)
Next, they plot and scheme and try to undercut the person in public and feel proud about it. (By this time, I'm tuning out.)
And the worst thing is, its all under the pretense of being NICE and FRIENDLY. Everyone has a nice big smile on their face and try to make jokes about it when they are trying to cut another person's reputation. This is deception in the worst form.
When it enters this stage, the funniess thing happens. I stop feeling annoyed about it and start enjoying the show! Of course, when it gets too bad and ugly, I won't stand being around it. And of course I won't do anything to spur on the competition. But before it comes to that stage, it's kinda funny. It's like being an audience in a battle of wits and skills. Who can be the smartest and best presenter? Who can win the audience over by their charming smiles and dashing good looks? Who can bug their friends to vote for them even though the friends don't personally think they are capable of such a task?
Do you see all these during even a simple group election? I do and currently am. And Boy am I being entertained!
Firstly, It makes people super competitive and that is enough to get me cringing.
Then, people start finding every opportunity to make the other look bad. (The concept of being a good sport just went out the window.)
Next, they plot and scheme and try to undercut the person in public and feel proud about it. (By this time, I'm tuning out.)
And the worst thing is, its all under the pretense of being NICE and FRIENDLY. Everyone has a nice big smile on their face and try to make jokes about it when they are trying to cut another person's reputation. This is deception in the worst form.
When it enters this stage, the funniess thing happens. I stop feeling annoyed about it and start enjoying the show! Of course, when it gets too bad and ugly, I won't stand being around it. And of course I won't do anything to spur on the competition. But before it comes to that stage, it's kinda funny. It's like being an audience in a battle of wits and skills. Who can be the smartest and best presenter? Who can win the audience over by their charming smiles and dashing good looks? Who can bug their friends to vote for them even though the friends don't personally think they are capable of such a task?
Do you see all these during even a simple group election? I do and currently am. And Boy am I being entertained!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Life Sucks right now, but its OK
I learnt a very valuable lesson today. Life may not go according to my plan, but its ok. God is always there.
Got my Commuications 160 Exam 2 paper back. Got a C-. Compared to my first exam where I got a A-, there's a big drop. I was so angry at myself. how could I have blanked out in the exam? What happened? I've never gotten a C- for any communication classes ever. I don't know why I was so upset. Throughout the whole class after, I could not concentrate and was feeling depressed.
After class, I rushed out of class and went to the Intl Student Lounge where I cried. Looking back, why was I crying over a C-? But in that moment, where I felt so crappy and lousy, I pleaded to the Lord to help me accept it and for His comfort.
And you know what? He responded instantly. Immediately, I felt a calmness and peace fill me. The tears dried up and even though my C- was still there, I felt ok. God is so good! He knew my hurt before I even told him and he hugged and held me while i cried.
Amazing Lord. Thank you God. you are so amazing
Got my Commuications 160 Exam 2 paper back. Got a C-. Compared to my first exam where I got a A-, there's a big drop. I was so angry at myself. how could I have blanked out in the exam? What happened? I've never gotten a C- for any communication classes ever. I don't know why I was so upset. Throughout the whole class after, I could not concentrate and was feeling depressed.
After class, I rushed out of class and went to the Intl Student Lounge where I cried. Looking back, why was I crying over a C-? But in that moment, where I felt so crappy and lousy, I pleaded to the Lord to help me accept it and for His comfort.
And you know what? He responded instantly. Immediately, I felt a calmness and peace fill me. The tears dried up and even though my C- was still there, I felt ok. God is so good! He knew my hurt before I even told him and he hugged and held me while i cried.
Amazing Lord. Thank you God. you are so amazing
Sunday, March 12, 2006
The Angel and Devil on my shoulders
I feel like I'm torn inside. Whenever it comes to making a decision about my spiritual life, I feel like I have an angel and devil sitting on opposite sides on my shoulders, you know the common representative always used in tv.
The angel - The side of me that wants to be closer to God and give up my evil ways
The devil - The lazy side of me that does not want to put the effort, determination and discipline into seeking God and turning from my sins.
I just had a mental conversation with myself.
My angel said, "I want to start having a daily routine of personal quiet time with God."
My devil said, "Nah, its too much work. And we don't see any results."
Angel, "The only way I can see results is if we form this routine and keep at it. Learning and talking more with God."
Devil, "We always fail the next day anyway. So why bother?"
Angel, "I can make a timetable. Either every morning or every night, at a set time."
Devil, "If in the morning, we'll have to get up early. And u know how much we hate that. At night, we're doing work or destressing."
Angel, "Talking to God is destressing. The best destresser ever."
This was what was going on in my head, until I decided to sit down and write it out here. Well, it's not in whole sentences, but you get the idea.
Thinking back, I usually like my "devil" side win... When it comes to important spiritual matters, I turn lazy and don't wanna bother, since I don't see the results instantly. Maybe that's what I need to change, that instant attitude.
Pray with me, that my angel side will win...
"Dear Lord,
Pls Pls Pls help me. I can't do this alone. I'm too stubborn. Lord, plsssss help me. I don't wanna end up far from you. I want to be with you and in you. But Lord, its so hard. I can;t do it alone. Pls, give me the determination and strength to seek u every day and second. Help me be the woman I envision myself to be years later. Pls.
Amen"
The angel - The side of me that wants to be closer to God and give up my evil ways
The devil - The lazy side of me that does not want to put the effort, determination and discipline into seeking God and turning from my sins.
I just had a mental conversation with myself.
My angel said, "I want to start having a daily routine of personal quiet time with God."
My devil said, "Nah, its too much work. And we don't see any results."
Angel, "The only way I can see results is if we form this routine and keep at it. Learning and talking more with God."
Devil, "We always fail the next day anyway. So why bother?"
Angel, "I can make a timetable. Either every morning or every night, at a set time."
Devil, "If in the morning, we'll have to get up early. And u know how much we hate that. At night, we're doing work or destressing."
Angel, "Talking to God is destressing. The best destresser ever."
This was what was going on in my head, until I decided to sit down and write it out here. Well, it's not in whole sentences, but you get the idea.
Thinking back, I usually like my "devil" side win... When it comes to important spiritual matters, I turn lazy and don't wanna bother, since I don't see the results instantly. Maybe that's what I need to change, that instant attitude.
Pray with me, that my angel side will win...
"Dear Lord,
Pls Pls Pls help me. I can't do this alone. I'm too stubborn. Lord, plsssss help me. I don't wanna end up far from you. I want to be with you and in you. But Lord, its so hard. I can;t do it alone. Pls, give me the determination and strength to seek u every day and second. Help me be the woman I envision myself to be years later. Pls.
Amen"
Danced Out!
Just returned from Dance Marathon, a fundraiser for the DeVos Children's Hospital in Grand Rapids. It was organised by my school. I was moralling for dancers who had to be on their feet for 24 hours straight! can u imagine? I was there for 10 over hours and I was dyinggg.... Boy, I'm unfit!
Anyway, I had a wonderful time dancing, massaging my dancers, hanging out with friends! It was amazing! I'm so glad i decided to do this! It is definitely a once in a lifetime event!
Pictures! view them here: http://hope.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003885&l=d66d3&id=11402930
Anyway, I had a wonderful time dancing, massaging my dancers, hanging out with friends! It was amazing! I'm so glad i decided to do this! It is definitely a once in a lifetime event!
Pictures! view them here: http://hope.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003885&l=d66d3&id=11402930
Saturday, March 04, 2006
My first ever Formal Dance
I went to "Winter Fantasia" my first ever formal dance. It was put up by the school. I enjoyed myself immensely!! I got all dolled up, did my hair, makeup, nice jewellry and a BEAUTIFUL gown that my mom and I bought back when I was in Singapore!! I felt soooo special and beautiful!!
The food was splendid and the dancing was FUN! I sure got a workout!!!
The pictures are here if anyone is interested: http://hope.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003617&l=6781d&id=11402930
The food was splendid and the dancing was FUN! I sure got a workout!!!
The pictures are here if anyone is interested: http://hope.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003617&l=6781d&id=11402930
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