JUMPIDY JUMPIDY JUMP!!!
WEEEEEEE
AHHHHHHH
ok... enough
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Goodbyes and Hellos
My Brother's gone back to Australia for his honours. I won't be seeing him for one year since I'm going over to the US to study. ONE YEAR!! That's too long not to see my brother. I miss the fun times we had... the times where we used to see who could poke each other's arm the most!! lol. Yes.. we're silly!
It is so good to be close to my brother! It's a rare thing these days! I am so thankful for it and I do know that I can depend on him when I need it, after all, this is the brother that would warn people to stop bullying me in primary school!! hehehe.
Anyway, Thanks Ann for the comment on my previous post. I guess I forgot that didn't I? Been looking at me, me, me. Well, there's no I in God. Thanks for your passion for the Lord. Its is very refreshing and makes me think. :) It's a long hard road to me finally letting go of my life (I'm very stubborn and a control-freak), but I guess I'll get there eventually as long as I like God do His work, right? It's like a hello... a start of a new relationship.
Hello, God!
It is so good to be close to my brother! It's a rare thing these days! I am so thankful for it and I do know that I can depend on him when I need it, after all, this is the brother that would warn people to stop bullying me in primary school!! hehehe.
Anyway, Thanks Ann for the comment on my previous post. I guess I forgot that didn't I? Been looking at me, me, me. Well, there's no I in God. Thanks for your passion for the Lord. Its is very refreshing and makes me think. :) It's a long hard road to me finally letting go of my life (I'm very stubborn and a control-freak), but I guess I'll get there eventually as long as I like God do His work, right? It's like a hello... a start of a new relationship.
Hello, God!
Friday, July 22, 2005
Tired
I'm tired of life. I'm tired of going through the "routine", living my life just waiting for school to start. I'm just tired. Sometimes, I wish I had the power to freeze everything and step out for a moment and take a break from life. You know, its very tiring living, especially living a life that refuses to let God in. I know I made a conscience decision to break away, just to see what it would be like without Him. And I guess I am seeing things now. Life without meaning plains STINKS. What am I living for day to day? What's the purpose of waking up every morning?
But my stubborn soul refuses to cave in, refuses to turn in. Sometimes, I feel like I'm floating outside my body. Like I'm seeing my life go by. I'm in a weird position. Part of me has given up on ever truly experiencing a life with Christ in it, the part that is lazy, sinful and selfish. Then there's the other part that is urging me to turn my life back into His hands, the part that yearns to know the true meaning of being His child.
Two conflicting parts. Who will win? Who will I allow to win? It's still too early to find out. I'm just living each day and going with the flow. Doing nothing stop or start anything meaningful. Funny ah?
Sometimes I wonder how I can be so cool and cynical about this. This concerns my soul!! Shouldn't I get worked up and make a decision?! I guess, after living 19 years pretending to be the holy and god-minded person, I have plain given up. It has been extremely tiring and draining keeping up the lie and I'm sick of trying.
We'll see what happens...
But my stubborn soul refuses to cave in, refuses to turn in. Sometimes, I feel like I'm floating outside my body. Like I'm seeing my life go by. I'm in a weird position. Part of me has given up on ever truly experiencing a life with Christ in it, the part that is lazy, sinful and selfish. Then there's the other part that is urging me to turn my life back into His hands, the part that yearns to know the true meaning of being His child.
Two conflicting parts. Who will win? Who will I allow to win? It's still too early to find out. I'm just living each day and going with the flow. Doing nothing stop or start anything meaningful. Funny ah?
Sometimes I wonder how I can be so cool and cynical about this. This concerns my soul!! Shouldn't I get worked up and make a decision?! I guess, after living 19 years pretending to be the holy and god-minded person, I have plain given up. It has been extremely tiring and draining keeping up the lie and I'm sick of trying.
We'll see what happens...
Thursday, July 21, 2005
My Brilliance... Yah RIGHT!
I like this layout, don't you? Simple and nice! Thanks goes to Francy.com and hours of searching the world wide web for this. I think its classy and simple and nice!!
So anyway, I got my class schedule for my coming Term in Hope College yesterday. Another reminder that time moves fast. Soon I'll begin a new chapter in my life. A chapter away from my family and friends... Facing the big unknown of college life and surviving in a different culture and environment. I'm very excited.. but I'll be lying if I said my heart wasn't pounding with fear at the thought...
I guess the 6 months over there did prepare me for this. I know most of what will happen and what I'm getting into. I'm going with my eyes wide open and I guess I'll have a lot of advantage over the other international studies there. Thinking back, it was a brilliant idea to do my internship there... Somehow, I suspect it was not my idea, even though it seemed to be... Somehow, I strongly suspect God was behind it all. God is a clever one... He does things and we dont even know it, thinking we were the wise one.. AH! Get Real! All our supposed wisdom and intelligence can never compare to the true brilliance of God.
So anyway, I got my class schedule for my coming Term in Hope College yesterday. Another reminder that time moves fast. Soon I'll begin a new chapter in my life. A chapter away from my family and friends... Facing the big unknown of college life and surviving in a different culture and environment. I'm very excited.. but I'll be lying if I said my heart wasn't pounding with fear at the thought...
I guess the 6 months over there did prepare me for this. I know most of what will happen and what I'm getting into. I'm going with my eyes wide open and I guess I'll have a lot of advantage over the other international studies there. Thinking back, it was a brilliant idea to do my internship there... Somehow, I suspect it was not my idea, even though it seemed to be... Somehow, I strongly suspect God was behind it all. God is a clever one... He does things and we dont even know it, thinking we were the wise one.. AH! Get Real! All our supposed wisdom and intelligence can never compare to the true brilliance of God.
New Layout New Place NEWNESS
Ok, so I finally caved in... I'm going to use blogger for my blog. I'm getting tired of having to archive my posts myself... So back to the system where all i need to do is post! hehehehe!
Right now, the system is still in bugness.... working on the template I got from someone. so the image is missing and stuff like that. When I settle everything in the template, I'll work on linking the past archives on my server.
So, what u think?
Right now, the system is still in bugness.... working on the template I got from someone. so the image is missing and stuff like that. When I settle everything in the template, I'll work on linking the past archives on my server.
So, what u think?
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