Life Sucks right now, but its OK

I learnt a very valuable lesson today. Life may not go according to my plan, but its ok. God is always there.

Got my Commuications 160 Exam 2 paper back. Got a C-. Compared to my first exam where I got a A-, there's a big drop. I was so angry at myself. how could I have blanked out in the exam? What happened? I've never gotten a C- for any communication classes ever. I don't know why I was so upset. Throughout the whole class after, I could not concentrate and was feeling depressed.

After class, I rushed out of class and went to the Intl Student Lounge where I cried. Looking back, why was I crying over a C-? But in that moment, where I felt so crappy and lousy, I pleaded to the Lord to help me accept it and for His comfort.

And you know what? He responded instantly. Immediately, I felt a calmness and peace fill me. The tears dried up and even though my C- was still there, I felt ok. God is so good! He knew my hurt before I even told him and he hugged and held me while i cried.

Amazing Lord. Thank you God. you are so amazing

The Angel and Devil on my shoulders

I feel like I'm torn inside. Whenever it comes to making a decision about my spiritual life, I feel like I have an angel and devil sitting on opposite sides on my shoulders, you know the common representative always used in tv.

The angel - The side of me that wants to be closer to God and give up my evil ways
The devil - The lazy side of me that does not want to put the effort, determination and discipline into seeking God and turning from my sins.

I just had a mental conversation with myself.

My angel said, "I want to start having a daily routine of personal quiet time with God."
My devil said, "Nah, its too much work. And we don't see any results."
Angel, "The only way I can see results is if we form this routine and keep at it. Learning and talking more with God."
Devil, "We always fail the next day anyway. So why bother?"
Angel, "I can make a timetable. Either every morning or every night, at a set time."
Devil, "If in the morning, we'll have to get up early. And u know how much we hate that. At night, we're doing work or destressing."
Angel, "Talking to God is destressing. The best destresser ever."

This was what was going on in my head, until I decided to sit down and write it out here. Well, it's not in whole sentences, but you get the idea.

Thinking back, I usually like my "devil" side win... When it comes to important spiritual matters, I turn lazy and don't wanna bother, since I don't see the results instantly. Maybe that's what I need to change, that instant attitude.

Pray with me, that my angel side will win...

"Dear Lord,

Pls Pls Pls help me. I can't do this alone. I'm too stubborn. Lord, plsssss help me. I don't wanna end up far from you. I want to be with you and in you. But Lord, its so hard. I can;t do it alone. Pls, give me the determination and strength to seek u every day and second. Help me be the woman I envision myself to be years later. Pls.

Amen"

Danced Out!

Just returned from Dance Marathon, a fundraiser for the DeVos Children's Hospital in Grand Rapids. It was organised by my school. I was moralling for dancers who had to be on their feet for 24 hours straight! can u imagine? I was there for 10 over hours and I was dyinggg.... Boy, I'm unfit!

Anyway, I had a wonderful time dancing, massaging my dancers, hanging out with friends! It was amazing! I'm so glad i decided to do this! It is definitely a once in a lifetime event!

Pictures! view them here: http://hope.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003885&l=d66d3&id=11402930

My first ever Formal Dance

I went to "Winter Fantasia" my first ever formal dance. It was put up by the school. I enjoyed myself immensely!! I got all dolled up, did my hair, makeup, nice jewellry and a BEAUTIFUL gown that my mom and I bought back when I was in Singapore!! I felt soooo special and beautiful!!

The food was splendid and the dancing was FUN! I sure got a workout!!!

The pictures are here if anyone is interested: http://hope.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003617&l=6781d&id=11402930