Losing a Friend

I'm finding it tough balancing having to be "in charge" of this house and being a friend to the house people, especially my best friend. Lately, I've been feeling that she does not want to talk to me and is angry at me. So I asked her today if there was something up and she said there was. She said lately everything I've said to her has been instructional and telling her stuff. She didn't like that.

It shocked me but reflecting, I would say that she's right. I've been so caught up trying to deal with the issues of this house that I've not had a good friend conversation with her for a long time. It's so hard to be both a friend and a RA. Sometimes I hate being a RA because of that. I don't want to lose our good friendship yet I do have to sometimes tell her stuff...

I guess I have to learn to balance the two more. I'm going to have to work hard to rebuild this friendship because I don't want to lose it. I just pray and hope she is willing to work with me on this. She doesn't seem to want to do anything to make the situation better.

I'm feeling ever more lonely, stressed, tired and down. As I write this, tears are running down my face. I want to be home now, forget about all the troubles and worries and just be in the comforting presence of my family, especially my mom.